Full Moon Musings

Dark?  Eh, maybe normal?  Well, normal for me, I guess.  I’ve had some serious emotional ups and downs throughout my life, and maybe being a bloodthirsty monster is the culmination of it all?  If the Moon hadn’t forced me  into this eternity, I probably would have gotten there with my own devices.  In my former, human life, I had friends, enemies, lovers, and wannabe lovers thrill me, love me, leave me, beat me, and kill me.  Once or twice I beat back, but not nearly enough in my opinion.

When I’d lived, loved, died, and reappeared, I thought my cycle of endless highs and lows was over.  After all, after death, what else can you do?  That’s where the Moon stepped in and offered me “life” eternal.  Riiiiiiiight.  An eternal servitude, maybe.  Complete with eternal hunger, bloodthirst, and self-hatred because of all the innocents I kill.  Under compulsion, sure, but I still kill them.  Why I can’t unleash this animal ferocity onto the real objects of my anger, I have no idea.  Another fate the Moon forced on me without my knowledge.

What I can’t understand, though, is why I allow it to have so much power over me?  She shows me love and affection and I grin like a maniac and follow Her around like a puppy dog.  She shows aloofness and insensitivity, and suddenly I’m thrown to the bottom of the bottomless dungeon of my mind, wondering what to do to save myself from this endless manipulation.  The worst part of it is that I love the control, or thought I did, that I feel when She summons me to her side.  I stop whatever I’m doing, whether that be feasting on a new victim, finally getting the elusive sleep that I so desperately need, or just wandering through the woods and enjoying the sunshine.  Afterwards, I feel happy, satisfied, and excited.  Then She pushes me away, tells me to fend for myself (like that’s ever been a problem…I’m a wolf!), and ignores me for weeks on end.  Then I hate myself for falling for it.  Again.

What’s a new wolf to do?

You’re Being Watched

You bound me to your bed
with my favorite leather cuffs
You made me scream for mercy
When I thought I’d had enough

I twisted and writhed
Tested the strength of the straps
Each wave of delight
Brought an erotic collapse

You sent me into orbit
When you covered me in wax
You forced me to submit
To your merciless attacks

You brought me to sheer ecstasy –
As you felt my breathing stop –
You leaned in and whispered to me,
“Know you’re being watched.” – Samantha Night

Pain

For days after you come to me,
I feel that hot, hot sex – embodied
In every move I make that brings a twinge
And causes such an enticing cringe

My scalp still feels like it’s on fire
My head snapped back again and again
I left my body every time
You brought me that hypnotic pain

I shudder at each delight you’ve shown
You pull from me such savage moans
I still feel your teeth, and again I groan
At the exquisite pain I’ve made my own

My back still bears the scars of your nails
I move and feel the enthralling sting
The scratches, now seductive trails,
Remind me how you make me scream – Samantha Night

 

 

 

Learning The Ropes

The seductive lure of those leather cuffs
That bind me to your bed
The cruel anticipation of
The painful pleasure that lies ahead

I twist against those enticing bonds
My body bucks with electric response
To the exquisite fire I feel at  your hand
So intense, impossible to withstand

Such agonizing ecstasy, such aching delight
An uncontrollable fire ignites
I crave the sting of your hand, your teeth
I dream of those cuffs when I’m released – Samantha Night

I’m Not Finished Yet

I came to you with no expectations
Of more than a night of sexual thrills
You showed me with no hesitation
The intense depth of your sensual skills

I soon discovered what lies beneath
The mild persona most people see
In wave after exquisite shock-wave
I convulsed in the orgasmic passion I crave

When I thought the night was done,
I tried to rise, though out of breath
I froze at your words, completely stunned:
“Oh, I’m not finished with you yet!” – Samantha Night

Hot and Cold

When you told me good-bye, I’ll admit I was crushed
But glad for your rediscovered bliss
I thought it would be simple to readjust
And not allow myself to reminisce

I was wrong – I’ve given you much more control
Over my world, somehow redefined
Your prior actions have taken their toll –
My own will has been undermined

I know why you’re doing what you’re doing now
But it still doesn’t make it easy to swallow
Your hot and cold signals show me just how
I can have you today and lose you tomorrow

Thank you for again giving me hope
That I can still learn what you choose to teach
I surrender – I am not outside the scope
Of the harsh intensity of your reach – Samantha Night

Continued Control

You still control me, as I’m sure you know
You build me up, then let me go
I find things on my own, you get enraged
And show me you want me in a cage

You don’t want to please me, and have me please you,
But don’t want me to find others with which to do
The things you know I need, I crave
You seem to want me for your slave

Only to be happy when you deem to allow
All others, you want me to disavow
You want your own infliction, both pleasure and pain
Allowing release only in your domain

I’m better than that, and don’t deserve
To be treated as if I’m a player in reserve
But you’ve got me under your control
Until you release my body, my soul – Samantha Night