So what does it say about me that I’ve come to thoroughly enjoy the animal (read rough) side of sex that I wouldn’t have even considered before? Well, the fact that I now AM an animal and was a human before has nothing to do with it, I’m sure. Ok, fine, so maybe it does. But when I was growing up, as a human, I got my ass kicked all the time by the people who were supposedly raising me, by the bullies at school, and by the people I sought out to fight because they were picking on people I loved. Ok, so they got their asses kicked, too, but for the most part, all I knew growing up was busted lips, black eyes, cuts and bruises on damned near every part of my body. When I reached 18, or a bit before, actually, I left that house and vowed never in holy hell would I ever let that happen to me again.
Fast forward a couple decades and enter one of the hottest men I’ve ever known in my life. Unavailable emotionally but with sex appeal in spades. I didn’t want to be available emotionally, either, so the strictly physical relationship suited me just fine. I quickly realized this man enjoyed things that I’ve been desiring for so long…and it’s hard to explain. Regular sex had become extremely boring, and at the first hint of the rough stuff, I was totally hooked. Like a line in the song “Pain” by Three Days Grace, “I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all.” Now, in animal form, I find that I have the same desire. Not pain for the sake of pain; it’s pain for the absolute intensity and heightened sexual arousal it brings. And that’s something I would never have known had I not experienced it as a human first. As my now-furry body prowls the woods in search of sacrificial offerings to the Moon, I occasionally get sidetracked by the musky scent of animal sexuality and go partake. Teeth ripping into my neck as the guttural sounds of feral need pierce the night…
Now, if I’m with a mate and there’s no pain involved, I’m bored and quickly move on. The last time I was with this emotionally unavailable-yet-sexy-as-all-hell male, he gave me a sign that the emotionally unavailable wall may be cracking. May. Then the Moon turned me into a literal animal. I can’t win….
mydarkestdreams72 